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The Not So Naked Chef starring old man Swanky!

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 1:39 pm
by Swanky
Well folks, I thought it was time we had a cooking segment on the forum, I plan on talking to Dave about getting a whole subforum made up. Where we can share recipes, show our skillz on the grillz. Thoughts and ideas for barbies and our ovens. Until then the Lounge will have to do. And I wanted to start with a kickass goulash I whipped up on the weekend. I had been wanting to do goulash for quite some time and with some cooler weather, this seemed perfect. So here is my step by step old man Swanky Goulash!

Well first of all, it's not cooking if you don't have beer, so I cracked the the top off of a nice frosty Toohey's Extra Dry, or TEDs for short.

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Then I grabbed my veges for the goulash, couple of carrots and a few spuds.

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They didn't quite look right, so I decided another beer was in order.

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After a couple of beers I had my "cutting eye" in, so after peeling the carrots and spuds, I chopped the crap out of 'em.

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I won't lie, I had me a little bit of help on this one, the missus' 3 year old Raffi wanted to help, and when she wants something, it's just safer to to give it to her. Besides I thought it would be fun! So I set her to cooking up the onions.

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Something wasn't quite right though, I soon discovered it was because my beer was empty, so I fixed that.

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I noticed Raffi's cooking wasn't up to scratch and figured it must be the fact she hadn't had a beer yet.

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Problem solved it was time to prepare the meat, problem was, we didn't have time, so here's some beef bolar roast cubed that we prepared earlier!

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OK, I didn't do this, dear old Ma calls up, says I have your meat, I say, if you get bored you could cut it up if you like, she says, no worries, bless her little cotton socks!

We get that into the frying pan and Raffi does what she does best, stir.

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Meanwhile I start getting me secret goulash mixture started, it's quite complex, but in a nutshell it involves cutting the top off this Maggi goulash mix. It's tricky, but you can do this at home yourself if your other half will let you play with scissors.

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After that exhausting effort and with everything looking good on my magic goulash mixing side, I decide a beer was in order.

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Raffi gives some tips to Lisa on the finer points of browning beef.

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Time to get our veges started while the beef does it's thing in the frying pan. Raffi decided she would count all the vegetables as they went into the crock pot, things get a tad scratchy after 10 for her, so she tends to start again after that, I can't blame her, that's what I do too. That's why I'm not allowed to count the attendance at the footy any more, they always get record crowds of well over 10. But I digress.

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With counting taking as long as I expected, it was time for another beer.

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And almost there!

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The meat was starting to look good now, I could see this masterpiece starting to take shape!

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So what better way to celebrate, than with a nice cold TEDs.

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With the beef done, it was time to add it too the crock pot to meat the vegetables. (See what I did there??? man I'm good!)

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Time for Raffi to earn her keep again, she gets to pour my top secret goulash mixture into our meat/vege mix.

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Then after a small mix, that work of art goes into the oven preheated to some temperature for around 6 beers (4 or 5 hours).

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After the appropriate amount of beer had elapsed and with the smell of awesomeness filling the house, it was time to take this trophy to the pool room!

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The meat just fell off of itself, the flavour was awesome, and damn it, it was worth the wait!

2, 4, 6, 8, bog in don't wait!

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:D

Re: The Not So Naked Chef starring old man Swanky!

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 1:44 pm
by muzzington
"How I put on 10 kilos in one night" starring old man Swanky.

Re: The Not So Naked Chef starring old man Swanky!

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 1:48 pm
by AceLosesKing
One of the better threads in recent memories, loved the photos. Raffi drinking beer made me lol.

You can just tell this was made for the Man Cave first ("TEDs, or Toohey Extra Dry").

Moar photo adventure threads!

Re: The Not So Naked Chef starring old man Swanky!

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 1:52 pm
by Swanky
AceLosesKing wrote:One of the better threads in recent memories, loved the photos. Raffi drinking beer made me lol.

You can just tell this was made for the Man Cave first ("TEDs, or Toohey Extra Dry").

Moar photo adventure threads!


BUSTED!

Oh and for the wosers, Raffi is not drinking beer, she was just holding it for the photo :)
:D

Re: The Not So Naked Chef starring old man Swanky!

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:15 pm
by bennymacca
nice thread old man Swanky, but i have to say, ITS A BLOODY PACKET MIX!!!!!!!

dont get me wrong, we have those packed mixes all the time (chilli con carne one is great) , but surely its not worthy of a posting in a cooking thread!


i like the idea though. maybe one day i will post how to make an awesome thai green curry from scratch (my current favourite food in the world that doesn't involve steak)

Re: The Not So Naked Chef starring old man Swanky!

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:22 pm
by Swanky
You call cutting the top off a packet not cooking???
You've been married too long mate!
That's how all good bachelors cook!
:D

Re: The Not So Naked Chef starring old man Swanky!

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:24 pm
by Larx36
Those packets can be very difficult to open sometimes benny the cunt. Not all is as easy as it seems. I applaud the effort of the cooking team and appreciate the sacrifice of the multiple Ted's that it took to make this masterpiece. Well done!

Re: The Not So Naked Chef starring old man Swanky!

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:34 pm
by AceLosesKing
bennymacca wrote:nice thread old man Swanky, but i have to say, ITS A BLOODY PACKET MIX!!!!!!!

dont get me wrong, we have those packed mixes all the time (chilli con carne one is great) , but surely its not worthy of a posting in a cooking thread!


Cos he was being serious with his Jamie Oliver-like skills in the kitchen :lol:

Re: The Not So Naked Chef starring old man Swanky!

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:36 pm
by Swanky
Oh yeah, and this is a great way for people to step up to the plate and say, packet mix, ok if it's all you have lying around the place, but if you have some time, why not try this.......
Hopefully we can get some good recipes for people to try.
:D

Re: The Not So Naked Chef starring old man Swanky!

Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:38 pm
by bennymacca
i was kidding about the packet mix dudes.

i like the thread. i think i will try and do something like this on wednesday, if i decide to make up a curry.

i have a great book at home that is just called "curry"

if you have an asian grocer nearby, you can find all the ingredients really cheaply, and for a bit of extra effort, it really makes a difference.