You're a Bunch of Factors

cricket season is right around the corner so this thread is suitable

a few famous sledges to get the season underway


Freddie Trueman & Raman Subba Row
Fearsome English fast bowler Fred Trueman extraced an edge from the batsman, which flew straight into the hands of Raman Subba Row at first slip. The ball however went right between Row's legs to the third man boundary. Fred didn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambled past Trueman and apologised sheepishly. "Sorry Fred. I should've kept my legs together". Trueman retorted in classic fashion "Not you, son. Your mother should've!"


Bill Lawry & Richie Benaud
While commentating during a match in which Pakistan was faring badly in all departments of the game, Bill Lawry, offering a solution said "I think Pakistan's problem is they've got to relax", to which
Benaud replies nonchalantly, "I don't agree. I think Pakistan have got to learn how to bat, bowl and field. It's a simple game."

David Hookes & Tony Greig
Centenary Test in Melbourne 1977. A young David Hookes makes his way to the crease in his debut test. The English captain was South African born Tony Greig.

Greig :
"When are balls going to drop sonny"

Hookes :
"Don't know but at least I'm playing Cricket for my own country"


James Ormond & Mark Waugh
James Ormond (England) had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh(Australia).

Mark Waugh :
"F*** me, look who it is! Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England"

James Ormond :
"Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family"



and my favourite

Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes
Glen McGrath, employing gamesmanship tactics tried to get under the skin of Zimbabwe player Eddo Brandes. He ran up to Brandes during a follow through and enquired: "Oi, Brandes, why the hell are you so fat?" Without missing a beat, Brandes replied "Cos every time I f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit"

The spontaneous retort sent even the aussie slip fielders into delirium who were seen lying on the ground clutching their stomach all the while as McGrath retraced his steps to the start of his run-up for his next delivery

Glen McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "What does brian lara's dick taste like?"

Sarwan: "I don't know, ask your wife"

(McGrath's wife was battling cancer at the time, and mcgrath had to be held back or else he would have belted sarwan)

edit: it was sarwan, changed it then

Some sledges to start today off


Don't bother shutting it, son, you won't be there long enough
Fred Truman to incoming Aussie batsman as he opened the gate on his way out to the middle at Lord's

Merv is a funny guy, though he would sledge his own mother if he thought it would help the cause.
Gladstone Small

Shane Warne is thicker than a complete set of Wisden yearbooks.
Matt Price

Go and deflate yourself, you balloon.
Daryll Cullinan to Shane Warne
Mate, if you turn the bat over, you'll see the instructions on the back!
Merv Hughes to Robin Smith


How anyone can spin a ball the width of Gatting boggles the mind.
Martin Johnson on Shane Warne's ball of the century

Shane Warne's idea of a balanced diet is a cheeseburger in each hand.
Ian Healy, 1996

Still my favourite

Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad

During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed Miandad called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls latter Merv dismissed Javed and as he ran past the departing batsmen in his victory celeration, called out "Tickets please".

Scott wrote:Still my favourite

Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad

During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed Miandad called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls latter Merv dismissed Javed and as he ran past the departing batsmen in his victory celeration, called out "Tickets please".

i agree, that one is the best