You're a Bunch of Factors

Five surgeons are discussing who they think makes the best patient to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything is numbered."

The second surgeon responds, "Sure, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color-coded."

The third surgeon says, "Well, I think the file clerks are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shuts them all up when he observes, "You're all wrong. Port Adelaide Supporters are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the face and bum are interchangeable."

>Port Adelaide Maths Exam
>
>1. If Chad Cornes head is 20cm up his a*sehole, and he wedges it a
>further 5cm, how much of his neck can you see?
>
>2. If Mark Williams has gained 25kg in the last year, and he has eaten
>450 pies in that time, how much weight has put on per pie?
>(Bonus point) How many pies are left over for Darren Jarman?
>
>3. If there are 30,000 Power fans at AAMI stadium, and 10,000 cars are
>stolen, how many are Commodores?
>
>4. If a Power fan drinks 15 cans of Woodstock during a match and Port
>lose, how many times will he hit his wife?
>
>5. If Daniel Motlop has a set shot 15m out after the siren to win the
>game, which shop in West Lakes Mall will he hit?
>
>6. If Alberton was to burn to ground completely, killing everyone in
>the surrounding area, how much would the average IQ of South Australia
>rise by?
>
>7. If Byron Pickett rolled his car at a speed of 120km/h, and his blood

>alcohol level was .134, how much did he win on the pokies that night?
>
>8. If Peter Burgoyne has slept with 5 women, and 2 were consensual, how

>many lawsuits will he face?
>
>9. If 10,000 Port fans walk down a muddy path, how many different ugg
>boot imprints will be seen?
>
>10. An inanimate carbon rod is lined up against Matthew Bishop.
>How many goals will the rod kick?
>
>11. If Dean Brogan punches 8 people at the airport, how many policemen
>will it take to subdue his chin?
>
>12. If Warren Tredrea loses 8000 hairs on his head per year, how many
>years until he looks like Nigel Smart?
>
>13. If a Port fan has 7 kids to 5 different fathers, work out the
>combined total she will get from
>a) child support;
>b) baby bonus;
>c) dole cheque;
>d) Centrelink fraud, and
>e) car theft.
>
>14. If two season tickets cost $350, how many dodgy Workcover claims
>will you have to file to get them?
>
>15. How many stolen TV's will you have to trade in at Cash Converters
>to buy enough teal paint to hot up your Gemini?
>
>16. If 2000 Port fans travel to Elizabeth for a Centrals game and Port
>lose by 1 point, how long will the ensuing race riots last for?
>
>17. If the Power have 50,000 fans and only 1500 turn up to Port Magpies

>games, how many are pathetic bandwagoners?
>
>18. If Kane Cornes fell to the ground like a girl 0.3 seconds after
>Barry Hall threatened to punch him, how many times did he shit himself
>in those 0.3 seconds?
>
>19.Sharon, a lifelong Port supporter, sits with the Power cheersquad
>behind the goals. If she has taken out an Apprehended Violence Order
>against Darryl, her second husband, how far down the wing will he have
>to sit so as to not breach the restraining order?

What's long and hard and f**ks Port Adelaide supporters?

Grade 3.

A port fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his port jumper. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St Peter in a crows scarf.

"Hello, mate," says St Peter, "I'm sorry, no port fans in heaven."

"What?" exclaims the man, astonished.

"You heard. No port fans."

"But, but, but, I've been a good man," replies the port supporter.

"Oh, really?" says St Peter. "What have you done then?"

"Well," says the guy, "three weeks before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the starving children in Africa."

"Oh," says St Peter. "Anything else?"

"Well, two weeks before I died, I also gave 20 bucks to the homeless.

"Hmmm. Anything else?"

"Yeah. A week before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the Albanian orphans.

"Okay," says St Peter, "you wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor."

Ten minutes pass before St Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me.

Here's your sixty bucks back, now f**k off."

What has 10 teeth and an IQ of 5?
a port home game at full capacity.

A Port supporter passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow ...
but she can't touch it 'til she's 14


Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age for port supporters to 32 ?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.


Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a murder in alberton.
1) The DNA is all the same
2) There's no dental records



A Policeman pulls over a torana on Port Road and says to the driver, 'Got any I.D. ?' . . and the driver replies 'Bout wut ?'


A new law was just recently passed . .
When a couple of Port supporters get divorced, they are STILL cousins.


Did you hear that the Port Adelaide's mayor's residence burned down ? . .
'Yep. Took out the whole caravan park, said the mayor, the library was a total loss too.
Both books went poof . . . up in flames and I hadn't even finished coloring one of them.'

benny the cunt seeing your a Port Powerless supporterless, can I post my Port pics on here???????

Ed was at school one morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came out, Fireman, Policeman, Salesman, Chippy, Captain of Industry etc, but Eddie was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Eddie aside to ask him if that was really true.

"No" said Edward, "He plays football for Port Adelaide but I was just too embarrassed to say."

A port supporter catches the eye of a gay man in a bar. The gay guy thinks it over many times, but after much consideration gathers the courage to make a move on the port supporter. He goes up close to him and whispers in his ear, would you like a blowjob?

The port supporter immediatley picks up his barstool and smashes it over the head of the man, and then precedes to kick and punch him several times and throw him out of the bar.

The bartender is shocked and says 'What the hell? What did he whisper to you?'

The port supporter replies 'I dunno mate, something about a job'

Bob B wrote:benny the cunt seeing your a Port Powerless supporterless, can I post my Port pics on here???????

this is port bashing central, in the leadup to the showdown this weekend

GO CROWS