my stand up gigs

[Bob B]

cheers guys and yes bob your assumption is spot on. i do have some jokes that are true experience's but just over the last few months, nothing's been happening.

might just have a month or to of the circuit and come up with some newy's. i've got 20mins now i wanna get it to a half hour but trust me it's harder than you think.

Tell me about M8. I'm always using my old material re; "personal experiences" with my friends and they keep saying you should do stand up. So, I say, "Can I have a hysterectomy to go with that please" cos I'm sure it would be just as painful.

I don't envy you but then again I do. As it must be so damned hard trying to get people the respond to your material in the manner your hoping they would by laughing.

Here's one for you. It's an oldy but a goody.

My mate and I went to a night club called Mars Bar a few years back. Anyway, we were standing at the bar and there were these two hot horny looking chicks at the end of the bar. So, I turned to my mate and said "have look at those chicks I'd love to get in their pants".

My mate looks at me and says, "Bob, they are Lesbians and they only like tits and fanny's"!!! My mate looked at me and seen that I was upset and he asked "what's wrong Bob"??? I looked at him and said, "I think I'm a lesbian too, cos I like tits and fannys too"

[todd182]

i like that bob......vintage stuff, not that i'm calling ya old or anything

[Bob B]

Hey Scotty, this old suit I'm wearing is a disguise as it's really covering a 28 year old mind M8.

[bennymacca]

i would have gone with 14 bob, but well go with 28 if you say so

[Bob B]

i would have gone with 14 bob, but well go with 28 if you say so

Thank you benny the cunt. I'm sure you meant well and I do really hope the operation was a success M8.

[Bob B]

Got another one for you Todd. I was told this one last Wednesday at the Wheaty.

Old Dave is about to turn 80 so his family dicided to get a stripper for him as a surprise.

Anyway, Old Dave hears a knock at the door and there's this tall blonde wearing a coat.

She throws open her coat and all old Dave could see was this tall, long legged, all boobed out woman wearing nothing but a "G" string and a string bra.

She says, "Happy Birthday Dave, I'm here to give you SUPER SEX"





Old Dave looks at her and says, "I'LL HAVE THE SOUP PLEASE"

did you get the punch line?

[Origami]

Got another one for you Todd. I was told this one last Wednesday at the Wheaty.

Old Dave is about to turn 80 so his family dicided to get a stripper for him as a surprise.

Anyway, Old Dave hears a knock at the door and there's this tall blonde wearing a coat.

She throws open her coat and all old Dave could see was this tall, long legged, all boobed out woman wearing nothing but a "G" string and a string bra.

She says, "Happy Birthday Dave, I'm here to give you SUPER SEX"





Old Dave looks at her and says, "I'LL HAVE THE SOUP PLEASE"

did you get the punch line?

with that standard of material you both should get together and work as a double act

suppose there would be a conflict tho ...who would be the Straight Man... and where would Todd stand ??

[Bob B]

Got another one for you Todd. I was told this one last Wednesday at the Wheaty.

Old Dave is about to turn 80 so his family dicided to get a stripper for him as a surprise.

Anyway, Old Dave hears a knock at the door and there's this tall blonde wearing a coat.

She throws open her coat and all old Dave could see was this tall, long legged, all boobed out woman wearing nothing but a "G" string and a string bra.

She says, "Happy Birthday Dave, I'm here to give you SUPER SEX"





Old Dave looks at her and says, "I'LL HAVE THE SOUP PLEASE"

did you get the punch line?

with that standard of material you both should get together and work as a double act

suppose there would be a conflict tho ...who would be the Straight Man... and where would Todd stand ??

Well Bruce, we would use a a wide screen cinama stage silly Or Todd could be a puppet and I'd be the puppetteer

[todd182]

good one bob and good one bruce. the puppeteer thing....not exactly my cuppa tea.....plus the last guy who's lap i sat on...............long story.......no offense bob.