You're a Bunch of Factors

UNANSWERED QUESTIONS


Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

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Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)

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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

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There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
2. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

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If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

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Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

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Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

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Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

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If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP! ?

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Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.

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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

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If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

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Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

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If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

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As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"?

hahahahaha -loves it ... nice one Nevah play JJ

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM ADELAIDE IF...

You meet people at the "Malls Balls"

You consider 40 degrees to be a bit warm

You drink Farmer's Union Iced Coffee

You drink Coopers

And you know It's the best beer in the world

You've been to the brewery lightss

You've eaten a Balfour's frog cake

You know that a berliner is something you eat

You like YoYo biscuits

You grew up on Fritz & sauce sangas

You know it's a 'yiros', not a 'kebab'

You can drink SA tap water without noticing any unpleasant flavours

You've been to the Pancake Kitchen (open 24 hours)

You call the corner store a 'deli'

You pronounce graph as "grarph", plant as "plarnt" and dance as "darnce"

You know that Victor Harbor is the only place to be for Schoolies.

You went to school camps as the Red Shield Aquatics Camp in Victor Harbor

You know where 'Porta Gutta' is

You have been to the club formerly known as Heaven at least once (and you were under 18).
You've started the night on the East End then drunkly walked through Rundle Mall in the early hours to get to the West End (or vice versa)

You know that there's more than one way to have a good time on Hindley Street

Pints are the big beers

After a big night you've ended up at 'The Cas'

You've been to the museum on 5 different school excursiosn but never returned as an adult

You've been to the St.Kilda playground

You miss Magic Mountain at the bay

You know that "the bay" is Glenelg

You would never swim at Glenelg because it's gross

You have been to Glenelg and got extremely sunburnt

You know the state floral and fauna emblem (but just in case it comes up at a quiz night)

You still call AAMI Stadium, "Footy Park".

You support the Crows/the Power

And you'd rather give up your first born than see the other team win the flag

You know the South Australians invited the checkside punt

You have a very strong opinion on Lleyton Hewitt

You forgave the Chappells for the 1981 Underarm Incident purely out of South Australian patriotism.

Your 'sports gurus' are KG and Cornesy

You've never watched NRL

You've been to the Christmas Pagent as a child and as an adult

You've lined up for more than half an hour to see Santa at the Magic Cave

You've bought something from the pie cart

You know what a pie floater is

You've eaten a pie floater

You can't go out without seeing someone you know

You shop at Foodland

You have a Hills Hoist in your backyard

You know the Hills Hoist was invented in South Australia as was wine casks, penicillin and the retractable seat belt

At least half of your neighbours were born before 1950

You can leave work at 5:15 and miss "peak hour traffic"

Your definition of 'peak hour' traffic is more than 5 cars at a red light

You're always running late because the public transport system is so old

You know and love the sound the ticket machine makes on public transport

You feel like punching the next person who calls it the City of Churches

You walk past at least 5 churches on your way to work

Seeing a large, Aboriginal man walking around town in a leotard and gumboots in the middle of winter does not surprise you

You know his name is Johnny

You know who Stormy Summers is

You remember John Martin's

You've been on the Pop-Eye

You know the people out on the Torrens are either tourists or rowers. No one else would go near that water.

You know where beehive corner is

You hate the new tram

You think the Festival Centre is a wonder of modern architecture.

You've used the term "minda" as an insult

A pale/palie is a Coopers Pale Ale

You've saved up your bottles and cans from a big night out, collected the 5c deposit and then used it to buy more beer

You know what a 'stobie pole' is

You say "heaps good"

One of the first questions you ask a person is where they went to school

You have the same friends from high school

You don't like Victorians

They stole our Grand Prix

Your dads best friend friends next door neighbour knows someone in bikie group that can get stuff.

You acknowledge that, while half of our state is uninhabitable, you know that it's still the greatest.


You console yourself that, despite all our faults, at least South Australia wasn't built by convicts.

You understood and laughed at this list

You live in South Australia

And you'll probably die here too

tl;dr

Nevah play JJ wrote:

Des Beaty wrote:tl;dr

HUH??

too long, didnt read

Yeh i got there just before 2nd flight started and left when there was around 70 left.

I was there being a social butterfly

Des Beaty wrote:Yeh i got there just before 2nd flight started and left when there was around 70 left.

I was there being a social butterfly

Social whore more like it, you around us all day.

And we loved it